What’s Truly Normal in Labor and Postpartum
Hi Mama!
This week, I want to dive into something that I am seeing a lot, especially on social media: a lot of people trying to manipulate and control natural processes in pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Today, our American culture is conditioned to seek comfort and immediate answers in all things—whether through convenience, medical interventions, or avoiding discomfort at all costs. But when it comes to labor, birth, and postpartum, this mindset can do a disservice to the beautiful, natural processes our bodies are designed to carry out. Let’s talk about some of the natural, but often misunderstood, elements of birth and postpartum that deserve to be normalized.
You Don’t Need to “Hack” Labor
Our culture is full of “hacks” and tricks for inducing labor, but often, the best approach is to trust that your baby and body will work together in perfect timing. You don’t need a hundred labor-inducing exercises or special teas (although some natural remedies can be helpful). Instead, focus on relaxation, trust, and tuning in to your body’s wisdom. Your baby will come when he/she ready, and your body will know exactly what to do.
Labor is Messy and that’s okay
We’ve grown accustomed to seeing birth sanitized and polished on television and social media but the reality is quite different. Labor can be messy! There’s blood, fluids, and oftentimes, bowel movements (yep!)! This is your body working hard, making room for baby to navigate down and out of your body, and all of it is part of the miracle of birth. Believe it or not, all of the “mess” is completely normal! Surrender to the idea that poop (and other things) will most likely come out of your body and that’s okay!
Tearing during labor is incredibly natural and normal
So many women are terrified about tearing in labor. It’s probably one of the biggest questions I get as a doula: “I’m so scared about vaginal tearing. How can I prevent it?” I understand not wanting to tear - I mean, who WANTS a wound on their body? But I want to encourage every expecting couple that tearing in birth is very normal and even a healthy part of birth. The perineum is designed to stretch as your baby is born, and sometimes, a tear is a natural outcome. Of course, there are things you can do to prevent it like perineal stretches, perineal compress during pushing, unmedicated labor for listening to your body on when/how to push and positions, avoiding forced/coached pushing, breathing, etc.
With proper care, most tears heal beautifully on their own. The focus shouldn’t be on fear, but on supporting your body’s recovery with things like sitz baths, perineal massage, rest, and pelvic floor PT if needed. And please know, a tear isn't a failure—it's a reflection of your body's resilience.
Labor can be Noisy
Labor isn’t always quiet and calm. It’s noisy, raw, primitive, and instinctive. Grunting, groaning, or even shouting during contractions is completely normal. These sounds are your body’s natural way of releasing tension, allowing your body to open, and helping your baby descend. The idea that labor must be serene or silent is wrong—we should normalize these sounds and as there is power behind them.
Your Baby Isn’t “Using You”
You may hear that your baby is “using you as a pacifier” when they want to nurse frequently (including comfort nursing) but this perspective misses the beauty of the connection happening in these moments. Babies find comfort and security at the breast—it’s not just about nourishment, it’s about bonding. Nursing, whether for food or comfort, is a powerful tool for regulating their tiny nervous systems and developing trust with you. Let’s normalize this beautiful, instinctive behavior!
Cluster Feeding is normal
Newborns will often cluster feed—nursing frequently for short bursts, when they are going through a growth spurt and/or working to increase your milk supply. This can feel overwhelming, but it’s a completely natural pattern. Your baby is helping to stimulate milk production and they’re also seeking comfort from you. Rather than trying to “fix” it, let’s embrace this normal aspect of early feeding and trust that it will change within time. In the meantime, rely on all the help you can get and set up systems that can support you with being present with your baby’s needs. Ask friends and family to help with meals, errands, chores around the house, etc. so that you feel supported. If you don’t have access to that support from your friends and family, look into hiring a postpartum doula, housekeeper, and/or meal delivery services. Remember, cluster feeding is temporary. It’s okay to let your dishes and laundry pile up for a little; prioritize the absolute most important things until the cluster feeding needs end.
Postpartum Bleeding is A Natural Cleanse
Postpartum bleeding, known as lochia, is another normal part of the postpartum period. For days, and sometimes weeks after birth, your body is cleansing itself and shedding the lining of the uterus. While it can be messy and sometimes surprising in its intensity, this process is a sign of healing. It’s nothing to fear or rush but something to embrace and appreciate as part of your body’s restoration after birth.
Optimal Cord Clamping Helps to support your Baby’s Transition
Optimal cord clamping allows your baby to receive all the benefits of the blood still circulating from the placenta after birth. This simple yet powerful practice provides extra oxygen and nutrients during the first few minutes of life. While this was once a natural part of birth, many modern practices cut it short. The most common practice today is for the cord to be clamped in less than 2 minutes (most times, that’s before the baby has received all of his/her blood). But every baby is different: some babies may need 2 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes, or 1 hour. By normalizing optimal cord clamping, we can honor the innate wisdom of the birthing process and provide baby the benefits of receiving the rest of his/her blood.
Stretch Marks
Stretch marks are a normal part of pregnancy and postpartum for many women. As your body stretches to make space for new life, these marks are often left behind. I did everything in my power to avoid stretch marks in my first pregnancy with lotions, creams, and oils but I personally realized it wasn’t worth the mental energy of trying to do so much to prevent something that was just bound to happen. I learned that stretch marks are hereditary, some are more prone to them than others, and there’s only so much you can do. I found a way to support my skin’s needs without trying to force my skin to be something it wasn’t going to be and just surrendered to this part of growing and welcoming new life - what a blessing.
Baby’s Need for Constant Holding
Your baby’s desire to be held constantly isn’t a “bad habit” or something that needs to be corrected—it’s an instinctual need for closeness, comfort, and security. By responding to your baby’s need for connection, you’re helping to build a foundation of trust and safety. Let’s normalize baby-wearing, co-sleeping, picking up your baby when he/she cries, and other ways of keeping your baby close, rather than pushing for independence too early. Listen to your mama instincts in what feels right for you and your baby.
Breastfeeding is Both Instinctive and Learned
While breastfeeding is instinctive, it’s also a skill that requires learning and often support. Many mothers struggle with latch issues, discomfort, or uncertainty in the beginning. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it’s simply part of the learning curve for you and your baby. With the right support, this natural skill can be mastered. Let’s normalize seeking help from lactation consultants.
Surrendering to These Innate Normalcies
All of these natural experiences are part of the incredible journey of motherhood. Our culture has taught us to fear or fix these moments, but the truth is, they’re simply part of the process. The more we surrender to these innate normalcies, the more we can embrace the wisdom of our bodies and the beautiful design of birth.
But surrendering doesn’t mean going it alone. The right support makes all the difference. At Anointed Births, we’re here to walk with you through each step of the journey, offering guidance, tips, practical support, resources, etc. Whether you’re preparing for labor, adjusting to life with a newborn, or seeking help with breastfeeding, we’re here to ensure that you don’t feel alone or lost in this process. If you’re needing that extra support, reach out, we’d love to help!
Stay tuned…
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